good birthday

hanging out in downtown slc + shopping at city creek + indian food + a sweet, unexpected gift + 

jacob gets an acceptance letter to grad school + leaving for AZ tomorrow

so many reasons to be thankful. 

so many reasons to celebrate.

Birthday Theme Song

Does anyone make better celebration music than Sly Stone?

25.

This feels monumental.

Quarter of a century. Mid-twenties. Perhaps the threshold of true adulthood.

I'm pretty speechless about the whole matter.

I guess all I really have to say on my 25th anniversary of life is

"Thank you falletinme be mice elf."

o christmas tree

Behold, our very first Christmas tree. It was found on KSL for a good price, and purchased from a very jolly Hispanic man whose entire house was filled with Christmas decorations. He continually explained to us how much he and his wife love Christmas, and gifted us with two of his own nutcrackers that sat on his shelf—one for me and one for "the baby." He insisted. He even gave Jacob a hug before we left. We decided that he, his name was Gabriel, truly had the spirit of Christmas. Glad we bought our first tree from someone like that.

The decorations are modest. We bought just enough ornaments to adorn one side of the tree. My project—the red pom-pom garland—remains to be finished. The tree itself is obviously a fake, though we have a very nice candle to substitute the lack of aroma. Definitely not the grandest tree you ever saw, but when we lit it up in the room—it was pretty magical.

Jacob put an old Christmas album that we found at D.I. on the record player, and for a good hour we just cuddled on the couch, admiring our tree.

"Odysseus with no Telemachus"

As I have been going through a collection of Elder Holland's talks and speeches, I came across a passage that struck me. While speaking at some odd convention in the 1980s, he quoted these words from a letter that appeared in the New Yorker:

"The spirit of emancipation has... touched deep the nerves of truth [but it also reflects]... the blind side of our age, and the cost of the blindness; [and] a perhaps fatal stupidity intertwined with our enlightenment. The idea of emancipation, after all, has to do with an escape from bonds, not a strengthening of bonds. Emancipation has to do with power, not love... I don't think it's a coincidence...that more and more people are living alone these days... [There is a] general sense of the transformation of our society from one that strengthens the bonds between people to one that is, at best, indifferent to them; a sense of an inevitable fraying of the net connections between people at many critical intersections, of which the marital knot is only one... If one examines these points of disintegration separately one finds they have a common cause—the overriding value placed on the idea of individual emancipation and fulfillment, in the light of which, more and more, the old bonds are seen not as enriching but as confining. We are coming to look upon life as a lone adventure, a great personal odyssey, and there is much in this view that is exhilarating and strengthening, but we seem to be carrying it to such an extreme that if each of us is an Odysseus, he is an Odysseus with no Telemachus to pursue him, with no Ithaca to long for, with no Penelope to return to—an Odysseus on a long journey that has been rendered pointless by becoming limitless."

That last line stings, doesn't it? But yet I wonder if it will continue to ring true as a theme for our generation in some future's hindsight. The more I observe, the more I sense this theme.

Magic Song: BLUE CHRISTMAS

 a favorite of mine...

I know he's the "King of Rock" and all, but has anyone else noticed what a beautiful voice Elvis had?

Some of those songs on his Christmas album seriously make me swoon.

Perhaps my grandma is rubbing off on me.

After taking her to the Hard Rock Cafe some years back, I realized what a huge crush she still has on him.

It was only in that scenario and in Back to the Future that I've ever heard anyone refer to a handsome man as a "dreamboat."

20 weeks

So. I guess you could say I'm halfway through this whole pregnancy thing.

Kinda crazy to think about. On one hand, I'm like Whoo-hoo! HALFWAY THERE!!! On the other hand, I'm like wait a minute. You're saying this is only, like, HALF of the WAY therrre?!? And then I remember, oh yeah. TOTALLY not ready for a baby to arrive. I don't even have BABY SUPPLIES!! And yeah... LABOR. Haven't even wrapped my head around that event. Another four or five months is a good thing. 

Thinking and re-thinking the whole time-table aspect of pregnancy can really mess you up in the head. The days seem to pass by more smoothly when I'm not obsessing over how "far along" I am. Just trying to enjoy the journey. And wow. It's been a journey.

I figure that I am now experiencing the most enjoyable part of being pregnant. I feel superb. I love watching my budding belly grow each day. Most of my clothes still fit. I can sleep through the night. Food tastes good again. And I can feel baby girl moving around all the time, which warms my heart to the max.

Oh yeah, and did I mention that Jacob treats me like a queen? Never in my life have I felt so ridiculously needy (especially during that first trimester... YIKES), and never in my life have I felt so loved and cared for. I honestly don't know how I could get through each day without him. If anything, this process has definitely proven his heart of gold.

Okay okay. Don't wanna start braggin. But really—the guy deserves some props.

The Annunciation

I remember being struck by this painting when it was first introduced to me and I got to view it myself at the Tate Britain in London—about four years ago now. Carrying my first baby this Christmas season, I guess I've found myself wondering more and more about who Mary was. This image often comes to mind. The simple beauty and emotion of it still moves me.  

Magic Song: LEONARD

pretty.