Monday, March 18, 2013

funny/weird

FUNNY. falling asleep on the lovesac around 7:30 pm and refusing to move and/or get up when jacob tries to take me to bed later in the evening. and so the poor guy gives up, puts on his pajamas, and just sleeps there with me. when i finally awoke and returned to my normal senses, i took him to bed.

WEIRD. that time the guy on the train (sitting right across from me) collapsed in the aisle and...oh yeah...STOPPED BREATHING. what followed? passengers attempt to resuscitate him, a nurse performs CPR, people are on the phone with 9-11, some guy asks the train host if they have defibrillators, vomiting, the train stops, the paramedics rush on board and wheel him away. I continue to sit in shock through this entire episode. I mean, when the Sunbeam falls into a freezing-cold stream at the ward campout, I know how to be heroicbut THIS? Luckily the guy ended up being okno thanks to my emergency-situation skills. More like WEIRD/TRAUMATIC/HORRIFYING.

FUNNY. the birth film event last weekend was very much like a bridal fair, but for pregnant ladies. there were tables and booths with vendors everywhere. at many of these tables there were free treats for the taking. on one of these tables, there was a plate with little scones and muffins. yummmm? I took one and ate itonly to realize a few minutes later that i had been eating off some other person's plate of refreshments. to my credit, i hadn't been to the refreshment table yet to see what was there. and heck. that lady had a mountain of goodies piled on that plate! really, i was doing her (and her unborn babe) a service. still, i cringe with humiliation to think she saw some strange prego-girl scarfing her foodand probably right in front of her. SHAME.

WEIRD. hoping to win the raffle drawing for the free birthing gown (you know, so I can look SUPER ADORABLE while i'm giving birth and stuff), but instead winning a free acupuncture treatment. i don't know anything about acupuncture. i don't even remember submitting tickets for the acupuncture drawing. does someone like me really need acupuncture? ACUPUNCTURE.

FUNNY. when women who work in my building tell me that they didn't know i was pregnant or that it's "not obvious." how am i supposed to take that? i think my baby would have to pop out and smack you in the face to make this any more obvious.

WEIRD. learning what some of the drugs that they use on laboring women are actually made out of. apparently, cervidil is made from pig semen and pitocin is merely cow oxytocin. But are they free range cows? And it's local? this vid never gets old.

FUNNY/WEIRD. my belly button is all but gone. jacob really enjoys this. i'm still coming to terms with it.

FUNNY/WEIRD? this pic:


i think i stole this tee from my little brother forever ago. i have a thing for black + metallic gold and looking like a thug. hope he doesn't mind that it's now a part of my maternity wardrobe.

6 comments:

Nancy said...

Wow! I have some follow-up questions/thoughts to this post:

1) Who was the sunbeam who fell into the stream at the campout?

2) What on earth are you going to do without all this material you get from the train? I'm telling you, home life is very boring in comparison.

3) I'm glad I didn't know about the drug composition at time of use for four children. At least I figured out the home remedies to replace the need for cervidil after the first child...hopefully they taught you that in your class. :/

You are hysterical. Please keep writing after baby comes. :)

Amber Marie said...

this all cracks me up. i think you did do a service to that woman who piled up her plate with goodies!

pig semen. hehe.

Brendan, Dana, Hazel & Hattie said...

Yes, these were all hilarious especially you eating someone else's refreshments!

leean robinson said...

Thanks for the laugh, again. Loved all of it.

Amy said...

YOU WOULD, HOLLI. just kidding. these were all really funny. i was lol'ing imagining your face as some dude passed out on the train.

Anna Jay said...

Loving this! Especially your:

1. gangster style
2. stealing food (unwittingly)
3. acupuncture win.

In reality, acupuncture can be a really good alternative for migraines. One of my closest friends suffers from chronic migraines and no treatments are working for her. She's looking for acupuncturists as the next attempt if you ever want to relinquish...