six months

By the time we had been dating for six months, I knew I wanted to marry Jacob and was quite certain that I was going to—someday. Yet, I had no idea that “someday” was so close; that I would be getting engaged just two months from then. At that time, marriage still seemed so far-off and distant. I didn’t feel ready, and didn’t know how to feel ready. I had all kinds of pre-conceived notions in my head like “we have to date for AT LEAST one year before we get engaged” or “marriage (especially the first year of marriage) is hard. We should make dating last because those will always be the best memories of our relationship.”

Now being 6 months married, I can’t help but be embarrassed by my warped perspective.  What was I so afraid of? If anything, marriage has proved to be incredibly EASIER than dating! And though I will always cherish the year we dated and got engaged—I would never ever go back. Marriage is infinitely better.  

Maybe I thought that marriage would make love mundane, and it would begin to fade. Dating kept things fresh an exciting. Again, I was so wrong. Our love has grown exponentially, and I’ve discovered capacities of my heart that I didn’t even know I had. Likewise—living, planning, and dreaming your lives together is not only exciting, but it makes each day so precious and significant. Every day you continue to create something beautiful and unique together.

I know I haven’t been married long, but I believe marriage has already defined and refined me as an individual. Sometimes it is hard to recall who that old person was. That girl who was so aloof and short-sighted.  Sometimes it is even hard to remember her life without Jacob—when they didn’t live and share everything together.

I’m sure that girl was happy—but she had no idea how happy she was going to be. 

happy six months, jacob. 

you were right  :)