that awkward moment when...

the bishop calls you up to the pulpit to give a spontaneous impromptu testimony at the end of sacrament meeting.

Of course, this is my worst nightmare. I hate doing anything on the spot without psycho-emotional preparation. It makes my nerves go insane. When I heard the words “Holli Robinson” come out of the bishop’s mouth I thought I would either pass out or run for the door. I looked at Jacob in horror and said “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?” probably loud enough for all the people around us to hear.

I think he just laughed and said something like, “yep! you better go bear your testimony!” He must’ve been delighted at this, since he is always nudging me to go bear my testimony on fast Sundays.

We were sitting all the way in the back, and so I had to walk all the way up the aisle. Every step thinking what the heck am I gonna say? ahhh. I felt surprisingly calm as I took a seat near the pulpit as another woman was bearing her impromptu testimony, though I made sure to shoot the bishop a disapproving glance of are you serious bishop!? He smiled back.
 

When I got up to the mic, the whole congregation looked fuzzy. I couldn’t focus on anything. The first thing that came out of my mouth was an idiotic laugh and “wow.” Then I mustered some inarticulate testimony and quickly returned to my seat in a state of post-traumatic stress. Not really knowing what I said or what just happened. 

(to give myself a little credit, it was a sincere testimony of the Book of Mormon that I had been wanting to express, though I was so nervous that I don't think it was expressed very well.)

I have to admit that I kinda just wanted to disappear. Of course, Jacob told me I did really well and gave me hugs. I just hope I didn’t embarrass him.

After sacrament, I was convinced that everyone had already forgotten about my little testimony and it wasn’t that big of a deal. Well, if it didn't make much of an impression on the adults in the congregation, it made a HUGE impression on our primary class.  As soon as I walked into the Primary room, Grace and Evan shouted, “HEY I SAW YOU!!! I SAW YOU UP THERE! I SAW YOU!!!”

And in her ever-candid attitude, Grace asked, “Why were you laughing?”

 
Oh the honesty and observance of children. This made me feel bad. Like maybe I treated the opportunity to bear my testimony a little lightly.

“Well, I didn’t even know the bishop was gonna call me up to talk. And when he did, it just made me laugh!” I tried to explain in a way that a 4-year-old could understand.

“That doesn’t sound very funny to me,” said Evan bluntly. 

Grace's blank expression seemed to agree with Evan. 

Four-year-olds are always right.